Friday, September 5, 2008

Electric Company Boogaloo

Today I saw a traditionally outfitted Jewish man (Hassidic? I don't know) with the hat, curly sideburn things ( feel free to post a tip on what they're called, I have read the Torah and a little about Kaballah, Kafka, etc., and am open-minded, imho- I mean no offense) and all black outfit, carrying an infant in diapers while talking on a cell phone. It was at a small shopping mall in Richmond, Va, so this was unusual, for me, but charming like a artful photo in "Life" magazine. I almost said, "By golly! What the heck is that?" and had the chaw drop from my puckered lips, not unlike the little bird I'd been whittling at my seat outside the Starbucks, from my sunburned, chapped hands. We southern folk just can't find the time to moisturize, proper-like.

On a completely different note, I have to say Target stores really have the right idea pimping "Spidey" related merchandise. I picked up a pen that not only lights up when you write, not only has a stamp of "Spidey", not only can be used to inject insulin to diabetics, it also has a bubble wand, with soap bubble stuff in the stem of the pen. And it only cost a dollar! If I were six, this would have wasted twice as much of my time as it did yours, for reading this, or maybe not. I have purchased a few other "Spidey" brand products over the years from Target, most notably the coin bank shaped like his iconic masked head of this costumed fictional character. I loved him as a kid, and dutifully read comic books about him and ate "Spidey" brand sugar confections at every opportunity, but that sugar rush wore off, sadly. I wouldn't pay to read of the wall-crawler's convoluted adventures these days, but I remain drawn to the brand, the icon, the kitsch and the big screen adaptations, minus the dance in #3. As ritual, I drop pennies into the bank shaped like his head at the end of the day, as I empty my pockets, and acidly taunt, "Penny for your thoughts, Spider-Guy?" Usually, I suppose his empty head is noting how some corporate douchebags are exploiting him, and how it sucks to have no recourse for litigated recompenesation, license rights, cereal box picture approvals (just imagine him taking a dump, with the lower half of his costume around his ankles, sadly slurpng from a bowl of Count Chockula).

nuff said

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